You may not admit it, but anger is something we have all had to deal with at one time or another. The intensity of this feeling varies with every person and circumstance, sometimes it’s just a mild irritation, other times it’s just burning rage!
We’ve all felt intense anger at some point, the only difference comes in how you control it, and this is where anger management and personal development comes in.
Have you ever asked yourself why you always feel angry? Or why there’s a little voice inside your head always provoking you to get mad?
See, the problem is almost every time a person is angry; they tend to blame it on other people, sometimes on the circumstances, but never on themselves.
However, countless studies in personal development and anger management report that there is no one to blame but yourself. Every time you result to anger, that’s actually a choice you made—similar to when you choose to be happy or choose to stay positive.
Every time you become angry there is no one to blame but yourself.
Assuming you’ve accepted the argument that there’s no one to blame for your anger but yourself, the next step is to learn how to deal with it.
The Basics of Anger Management
The desire to control
The triggers of your anger are mostly out of your control, such as traffic, a lousy waiter, or a nosy co-worker. However, the root of your anger is- in most cases- your desire to control things, people, and scenarios.
The thing is there are things that are impossibly out of your control, thus there is no reason to get angry about it—like traffic, bad weather, the bad economy, or people around you. These things are not dependent to you in any way, therefore you need to change your outlook towards it and just move on.
Anger streams from that little voice in your head, feeding you thoughts of negativity, hate and contempt. It’s telling you things, that you’re not being treated right, that they’re being unfair, that your boss is overworking you…and all these other negative things.
You have total control over these voices. If these voices are feeding you all sorts of negativity, then it can also do the opposite.
You can use your anger to benefit yourself and others. Use your feeling of opposition to change your life for the better. Anger could be a great driving force for change, you know. Use it to fuel your desire to change the things that anger you.
Write down the things, people, and situations that make you angry, then seriously get into the root of it, and find out the source. Ask “why” and “how” questions, until you get to the bottom of it all.
Are you upset because you’ve been passed over for a promotion twice?
Ask yourself or your boss,
“Why didn’t you get that promotion?”
“Why did your boss choose the other guy?”
“Why were you not promoted the first time?”
You will soon see that you have more control than you think you do.